10 Ways to Know It's Time to Quit

The journey into a profound spirituality for Geri Scazzero began when she said, “I quit.”Refusing to continue pretending everything was “fine,” she told her husband she was quitting their church –and he was the pastor!

The powerful journey they took together – to “quit” the things that really don’t belong to God’s kingdom and embrace the things that do – changed their personal lives, their marriage and their church. Take the following assessment below and see if you need to quit:

1. You need the approval of others to feel good about yourself.


2. You are angry, sad, or disappointed and feel guilty about it.


3. You believe you don't have choices.


4. You do for others what they can and should do for themselves.


5. Your rarely consider your own hopes and dreams because of your focus on others.


6. You say “yes’ when you would rather say “no”.


7. You have difficulty speaking up when you disagree or prefer something different.


8. You’re becoming a less instead of a more loving person.


9. You are resentful and tired because you regularly “try to do it all.”


10. You are afraid to admit your weaknesses and flaws.

If two or three apply to you, you may need to start quitting. If four to six apply, you have a lot to quit; if you scored seven or above, your true self may be “buried alive.”

When we quit those things that are damaging to our souls, we are freed up to choose ways of being that are rooted in love and lead to life – both for us and others. Quitting goes hand in hand with choosing. Something breaks inside of us when we finally say, “No more!” The following are 8 "Quits" essential to all genuine spirituality.

Quit Being Afraid of What Others Think. (Choose Freedom)
I am willing to cut through the disapproval of others and do what is good, true and loving. I no longer ignore the values I hold dearly. Who I am “on stage” before others is the same person I am “off stage” when I am by myself.

Quit Lying. (Choose Truth)
The degree to which I live in the truth –with myself, God and others- is the degree to which I am free. Learning how to speak the truth respectfully, honestly and clearly is one of the most significant ways I can respect the image of God in myself and others.

Quit Dying to the Wrong Things. (Choose Delighting in God’s Gifts)
I will no longer set aside or devalue activities or relationships that cause my soul to feel fully alive (e.g. music, dance, art, the outdoors, travel). I will take the time to explore my internal world of thoughts, feelings, values, loves, beliefs and motivations.

Quit Denying Anger, Sadness, and Fear. (Choose Embracing Your Humanity)
When it comes to feeling, I will avoid extremes –neither neglecting my emotions nor allowing them to run my life. I will allow myself to experience them in the presence of God, calmly think them through, and then take appropriate action.

Quit Blaming. (Choose to Take Responsibility)
As a human being made in God’s image, I recognize that no one is responsible for my life but me. I reclaim my freedom to choose my own life and help others do the same. I can’t change others, but I can change myself – with God’s grace.

Quit Overfunctioning. (Choose Letting Go)
I will no longer do for others what they can and should do for themselves. I will push through my fears in the face of resistance, asking God for courage and wisdom.

Quit Faulty Thinking. (Choose to Live in Reality)
I will refuse to make things bigger than they are. I will not take offense or blame for something before having all the data. And I will not believe the falsehood that things will never change. I will position myself so that the Spirit can correct my wrong assumptions and align me with the truth.

Quit Living Someone Else’s Life. (Choose to be Yourself)
By God’s grace I will embrace the unique life He has given me. I will listen to my God-given rhythms, set appropriate boundaries with others, and let go of other people’s agenda for me. In this way I will enter into the joy of my own beautifully, God-given life and carry out His unique purposes for me.

By: Geri with Pete Scazzero (@PeteScazzero)
From: I Quit: Stop Pretending Everything is Fine and Change Your Life (Zondervan, 2010)

Geri is a teaching pastor and director of Marriage Ministry at New Life Fellowship Church. Pete is the founder and senior pastor. More info on the topic of Emotionally Healthy Spirituality on Pete's blog and www.emotionallyhealthy.org.